The key to managing young people is giving them respect

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The Baby Boomers as well as Generations X, Y and Z have all drawn criticism from supervisors when entering the working world. Complaints have always been treated as specific to the generation, but in fact are surprisingly similar over time: Immature, too full of themselves, not willing to put in long hours and expecting to be promoted before they are ready being common themes.
“The clash between the generations has repeated itself between almost every ‘ruling’ generation and every ‘upstart’ generation throughout recorded history,” developmental psychologist David Yeager writes in his book 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People, noting that Aristotle complained about youngsters being fickle, passionate and irascible, apt to be carried away by their impulses.
Mr. Yeager believes the source of much of the conflict is “the mentor’s dilemma,” the difficulty of simultaneously criticizing a young person’s work and motivating them.
“Leaders feel like they’re stuck between two bad choices. They could either put up with poor performance (but be nice) or demand high performance (but be cruel). Neither option is ideal. All too often, both sides – younger and older – tend to leave these interactions frustrated or offended, even though both sides might have entered the interaction with growth in mind,” he observes.
He has studied managers, parents, educators and coaches, learning how the best transcend this dilemma. He has also conducted scientific studies to check that what he has thought effective actually works.
He dismisses the compliment sandwich, in which a manager surrounds a negative observation with two positives. It ensures twice as much positive comments as negative, but young people aren’t counting. They don’t care if the boss, over all, is positive.
“Science tells us that when young people are being critiqued by an authority figure, they’re asking themselves a deeper, more existential question: Does this person who has power over my life think I’m incompetent? Before they can hear the criticism for what it is – helpful advice on how to better meet their goals – they have to feel safe,” he writes.
Working with Geoffrey Cohen, a Stanford University professor of psychology and organizational behaviour, they tested a solution they call “wise feedback.” After grade seven students handed in first drafts of essays on their personal heroes, instructors applying that approach were critical with their feedback but coupled it with a clear and transparent statement about why they were giving such comments. That statement was: They believed the student could meet a high standard if they got the right support. Other students, in the control group, got a statement that “I’m sharing these comments so you have feedback on your essay.”
The essays were returned and the students had a week to revise their writing if they wished. The researchers hoped the wise feedback would have some impact but were stunned at the results. Those students were twice as likely to revise their essay, 80 per cent compared to 40 per cent for those receiving the more subdued, control statement.
A year later, rerunning the experiment, all students were required to revise the essays. Those receiving the wise feedback note made more than twice as many of the teachers’ suggested corrections, with the greatest benefit coming with minority, Black students. “Being respected is motivating,” sums up Mr. Yeager.
In the workplace, he notes that managers can adopt three mindsets:
Managers resort to the enforcer or protector mindset out of valid worries. Enforcers believe the young person is immature and defiant, needing accountability or they will wreak havoc in the organization. Discipline and standards are crucial, and managers must be willing to inflict pain.
Protectors feel it would be cruel to hold young people to standards that they can’t meet. They fear being too demanding and choose to care more about the person than their performance. “While this approach usually comes from a caring place, it doesn’t push young people to grow. What’s more, it can come across disrespectfully because it is rooted in young people’s incompetence,” Mr. Yeager observes.
If you’re prone to the enforcer or protector mindset, he says the good news is you are half right. Young people need managers who offer high standards plus high support, and you just have to add what’s missing from your repertoire to achieve a wise mentor style, which research has shown is the most effective for the broadest group of young people.
Cannonballs
Harvey Schachter is a Kingston-based writer specializing in management issues. He, along with Sheelagh Whittaker, former CEO of both EDS Canada and Cancom, are the authors of When Harvey Didn’t Meet Sheelagh: Emails on Leadership.